Should you? Really? “I should be able to do this myself” is what many people think when they are stressed or experiencing difficulty. What is the ‘this’ in that sentence? I should be able to cope? I should be able to find the answer and know what to do? I should be able to tough […]
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What you should do when you don’t know what you should be doing – even the title sounds confusing doesn’t it? I was going to write this blog during Lockdown but then things started to ease and I thought maybe we would all feel a lot more sure of the future but recent events have […]
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What is your reaction to a compliment? Do you push it away by saying something negative? Do you feel your body stiffen and find it hard to make eye contact? Do you even hear it? Often these responses are because we have a negative self-view. We say things like “Oh not really.” “It was only ….” […]
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Many of my clients have not been able to come and see me and many are isolated at home as we work our way through the Covid-19 Lockdown. I am acutely aware that this is a difficult time for our mental health, on all levels. So I offer some resources to support you and your […]
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As we go into the further stages of relaxation of Lockdown rules, I am reassessing my clinical work every day. Working online with clients continues with great results, but I have not returned to the treatment room yet. From a physical point of view, I feel confident that the safety of my clients can be […]
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Now that the Government has issued more relaxed guidelines to ease Lockdown I am updating on my thinking as a Practitioner. Due to Covid-19 I am not currently seeing clients face to face. I am booking Counselling sessions over Zoom and appointments can be booked here. Kinesiology sessions will be restored when deemed safe to do […]
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I haven’t posted for a while because of the overload of information on the internet about how to cope with Lockdown. I don’t know about you but I have been overwhelmed by the social media noise telling me that I must – learn a language, keep fit every day, get into baking etc. Initially, when […]
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The threat of the Covid-19 virus is causing us anxiety and fear. We are worried about our health, our family our friends and our community. There is uncertainty about how long it will take for us to overcome this pandemic and we don’t know how long we will have to be in lock-down. We are […]
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…and none of them is good. At the present time there is a lot of anxiety about the Covid-19 virus and we, I hope, by now are all aware of the actions we need to take to protect ourselves and our loved ones from infection. See the up to date, scientifically informed advice here. I […]
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Have you heard that successful people are people who take action? Do you believe that you have to get it all done to be ‘productive’? Do you have a to-do list that never gets shorter? Overwhelming isn’t it? If you are like me, you have been seduced into trying to do more in less time. […]
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Behave like a child. Yes seriously. When we are children we believe we can do anything but after about the age of seven we start to lose that ability and our big dreams are often crushed. Adults start imposing their own restricting beliefs on us. Mostly out of a desire to protect us or to […]
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My last blog was emailed to my mailing list and as I pressed the button I thought I had done a good job, watching the MailChimp monkey hand descend on the big red button with satisfaction. Later that day I received a supportive and kind email from Emma Langridge of Bramley Solutions, a colleague who […]
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There is much debate about which date it actually is but it is about this time that if you’re gonna quit, you will. January 19 has been revealed as the day people are most likely to abandon their New Year’s fitness resolutions, according to new data insights from social fitness network Strava. During January, millions of Brits aim to […]
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It’s New Year’s Day 2020 and the internet is flooded with videos and blogs giving you insights and tools into setting your goals for the year. ‘New Year Resolutions’ maybe. I’m all for setting our intention to determine our path to our success but today I’m interested in looking back at 2019. One of the […]
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In my last blog, I wrote about endings and how to manage them. I looked back over the year and thought about the endings I had made and what had ended in me in order for the ending to come about. What if the ending is thrust upon us unexpectedly or without us being involved […]
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Every Autumn I attend my women’s group annual meeting. The Group formed thirty-six years ago and I have been in a participant for twenty-one years. There is a tremendous wealth of experience and expertise in the Group, enriched by understanding our professional commitment, passion for our work, focus on our personal obstacles and support of […]
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No matter how we try to understand one another, make compromises or calmly put our point across, sometimes conflict will arise. When we communicate clearly and in a ‘level’ way, we can often come to an agreement with the other. We can find a connection and establish how we can fit together. However, this assumes that […]
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Most of us dislike conflict – although you can probably think of someone who seems to thrive on it or even attract it. Generally, though, I think we try to get along with others in the world. It makes the day go easier if we are at ease with those around us and makes for […]
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How often do you say ‘Yes’ when you really want to say ‘No’? How do you know that you really want to say ‘No’. In my last blog, I wrote about being authentic and choosing to do something which we don’t really want to do but we make a choice to do it because of […]
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When I write I realise that the subject is so multi-faceted that I have to concentrate on one aspect and keep to the subject. In my last blog I wrote about taking responsibility for our behaviour rather than taking responsibility for the feelings experienced by another as a response to our behaviour. Being shaped by […]
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Why is it that some people choose to be defined by their negative experience and some choose to rise above it and learn from it? Why do I say ‘choose’? In my life, I have been exposed to difficult and challenging experiences. I’m sure you have too. They have shaped me. Have I allowed them […]
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How can I be more self-confident? This is a question I am often asked. The person asking is often of the mind that self-confidence is something which is gained in a moment – it being a ‘commodity’ as such. Something which can be picked up and applied. Self-confidence is gained over time by learning new […]
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This is the sixth, last and maybe the key technique in the series Six Tools to Build Self-Confidence. Here is a technique to find courage. We think of courageous people having courage all the time. Courage is also for nervous, anxious and fearful people. Courage is something which we call on when we are faced […]
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Welcome to the fifth blog in the series Six Tools to Build Self Confidence. Over the last four blogs in this series, I have offered you some simple techniques to use to develop your self-confidence and reduce anxiety. Self-confidence is like a muscle. It has to be used to be developed. If not, it will […]
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Welcome to the fourth blog in the series – Six Tools to Build Your Self-Confidence. In the last blog, I gave you a very simple physical technique to ground you when in a state of anxiety or lacking self-confidence. It included the simplest technique of all – taking a breath. In addition to taking a […]
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Welcome to the third blog in the series Six Tools to Build Self Confidence. When we lack confidence or are in fear, we can become ‘ungrounded’ and ‘in our head’ dealing with the negative emotions and trying to work out a situation mentally. One of the ways we can ‘ground ourselves’ or get back into […]
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…and none of them are good. Welcome to the second blog in the series Six Tools to Build Self Confidence. Most people will be aware of holding their breath when stressed or fearful. I notice it in the Consulting Room when I make an intervention. The client will hold their breath when they are searching […]
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Welcome to the first blog in the series Six Tools to Build Self Confidence. Believe it or not, anxiety is a normal aspect of everyday life. It is the mental state that gets you to an appointment on time and enables you to remember all the things you have to do. It’s a state which […]
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Personal obstacles can often impact on our ability to do a good job in the workplace, to be the parent we want to be, to be social with our friends and be confident in the world. To bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be can seem an impossible task. […]
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I was speaking to another therapist/coach who had publicly shared her challenging life experience and she said that she thought to share her story enabled people to feel that they could tell her anything and she wouldn’t be embarrassed or judgemental. Knowing that someone has been through something similar to us can help us have […]
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A recent event resulted in a friend sharing a maxim with me ‘Crabs In a Bucket’ – it’s not one that I had ever heard before. Have you ever been undermined by another, someone who is maybe jealous of you or, to use another maxim, has an ‘axe to grind’? Has that person done something […]
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Your level of performance is directly related to your level of confidence. If you want to perform better you need to raise your level of confidence in your ability to attempt, if not fulfil, the task in hand. Confidence matters because you are unlikely to attempt something if you don’t believe in your ability. Self-belief […]
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“I should have come to see you years ago, I don’t know why I didn’t.” – this was something said to me this week whilst booking a Discovery Session for a potential new client. There are many reasons why we wait to get support: “I am scared to open up to a stranger and […]
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This week has been a challenge. I changed my name and diversified my business, launched a new website, posted on social media and networked like crazy and then … went to bed. Whilst I knew that losing my voice and having a heavy head cold was my body telling me that now I had reached […]
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First of all let’s explain the name change. I have for many years worked under my previous married name of Elaine Copeland but got divorced sometime ago. Because my qualifications were achieved under that name it seemed easier to carry on trading under that name.
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