Self Confidence

A recent event resulted in a friend sharing a maxim with me ‘Crabs In a Bucket’ – it’s not one that I had ever heard before.

Have you ever been undermined by another, someone who is maybe jealous of you or, to use another maxim, has an ‘axe to grind’? Has that person done something to put you down, given you a look to spoil your enjoyment or conspired against you so that you fail?  This can result in a  sudden fall in your confidence or self-belief.

When several crabs are trapped in a bucket they will run over each other and scramble to get out, resulting in them all remaining trapped. One crab could escape but its efforts will be undermined by the others.  “If I can’t have it, neither can you.”

The Crabs In A Bucket mentality is expressed by those in a group who lack confidence and who wish to reduce the confidence of another member who is more successful.  This mentality is born of competitive feelings but charged with resentment or spite.

A New Zealand study in 2015 demonstrated up to an 18% increase in exam performance in students when their achievements were reported in a way which prevented other students knowing their rankings.  Maybe we perform better if we are not seen?   Another blog to follow on our fear of performing in public – public speaking or delivering presentations.

So what to do? 

Should you hide your light under a bushel (gosh our language is full of maxims)?  Absolutely not.  We must not allow ourselves to be trodden over by others but unfortunately, it is not something over which we have control.  We can only control our response.

Recognise their behaviour for what it is.  If you experience this it could be an indication that you are successful, funny, attractive, magnetic etc. and so you could see it as a positive affirmation of your strengths.

How you respond to a situation and how it affects you is completely within your control and your personal power.  Just wait for all the crabs in the bucket to get tired of scrabbling and then make your own way out knowing that you are seen as successful.

If you would like to know more about building your confidence call me on 01424 773 988.

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